The Almost Empty Nester: Embrace The Mess

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Embrace The Mess

I don't like mess. I'm an organized, orderly kind of gal. I make plans and I don't always do well when they change. I make my peace with it eventually, but it takes me time to adjust.

In my last post I talked about how I'm trying to be better about just being myself. Be Lara. In doing so, I see that whether my nature or nurture, I'm not very good at being in the moment. Embracing what is. I also struggle with thinking I'll be all good and fine if life stays all good and fine. But the truth is, life is messy. It takes twists and turns that we don't expect. It throws us curve balls when we thought for sure the next pitch was a fast ball straight up the middle.

Last week, I was sitting in the airport in Vegas with The Hubby waiting to return home from a conference. My mom called to say my nephew was being rushed to a children's hospital in Denver with a medical emergency. 

Curve ball. 

With a packed bag sitting right next to me, I changed my flight and instead of flying home, landed in Denver that night and went straight to the hospital.

As I sat on the plane looking out the window at the beautiful snow covered mountains, I took a deep breath and thought, I need to learn to embrace the mess. There was nowhere on earth I wanted to be more than on that plane headed to see my nephew. To hug him, to hold my sister tight, to be helpful in any way possible. It was a twist and turn from what I thought would happen, yes, but I was right where I was supposed to be, when I was supposed to be there.

Embrace the mess.

My sister has four boys. The oldest is already in college. Nephew #2 leaves for college this fall. Nephew #3 is the one in the hospital. Nephew #4 is in high school. She is also an Almost Empty Nester. She has sent one to college already, but still has three at home. She gets it. The nest changes, but a mom is always a mom.

I am home now. My nephew is still struggling. I pray for his health and strength every day. I worry about him as I would my own child. I adore my nephews. I'm as much a mama bear about them as I am my own kids. I hate this mess he's in. I don't like this curve ball AT ALL. But it's been thrown.

When life throws those, am I going to ask God how to hit it? Or worry and fret and get upset that life isn't going how I saw it going in my head? 

I'm learning. It's one step at a time. But I'm seeing more and more each day that I would rather embrace the mess than sit around in frustration trying to keep life at one speed without any turns.

And here is the truth I cling to as a believer in Jesus: curve balls don't surprise Him. And He is more than willing to show me how to hit them if I ask. 

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written. Praying for Brady. Praying for Gods healing and peace in the hard.