The Almost Empty Nester: Travel And The In Between

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Travel And The In Between

For Christmas, my husband gave me and The Girl Child a trip to Italy. We each took a friend. A girl's trip that we did a few weeks ago. For the first week back, I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. Jet lag is not joke, people.

Neither is the adjustment that goes with having a grown child home for the summer after living on her own for nine months in another state. Then go on an overseas trip with her where she wants to roam around in the evenings just her and her friend off on their own. It's like being tossed into the deep end with no life preserver or instruction on how to swim or even tread water.

I tried to give her some freedom while also keeping her safety and best interest first. And it worked. She had a blast and we had a fantastic trip. Not to say I wasn't in constant prayer or that we didn't have our bumps in the road. Life and travel aren't ever without those.

The In Between is a bit bumpy as well. In the same way that we are trying to adjust to having a grown child, our grown child is adjusting to still having parents and yet be independent. As I would mentally grapple with what I was okay with her doing on her own while we were in Italy, I had to remind myself that she lived most of last year on her own in another state without me approving or knowing of 90% of what she did. Now, I trust this child to no end so I wasn't concerned, but it's…weird.

To go from knowing everything they're doing to knowing very little of what they're doing and back to knowing most of what they're doing is quite the dizzying experience. Now that she's back, I know about most of what she's doing, and I don't get quite as big of a say in it. And that's okay. That's how it should be. But again...weird. It's amazing how much I've had to train myself to think before I speak. 

I will say this. The In Between has been way easier so far than when she initially left. The complete hole that left in our lives was difficult to navigate. It was hands down, one of the saddest, toughest times in my life. The In Between is merely a part of the adjustment to our relationship as it moves forward. The Hubby and I are becoming less parent and more friend. Which is wonderful. Truly. But it is a change. And we all know how well I handle change. ;)

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