The Almost Empty Nester: Outnumbered

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Outnumbered



I'm outnumbered in my household. As a mom, there's three of them and one of me. Four if you count Hubby. And let's face it, he needs me too.

I made a promise to myself that as my kids grew up I would make it to every event, every game, every important moment. When they were smaller this wasn't an enormously difficult task, but now that they're older, there's a lot going on. No, I don't make it to every single thing but I've been close. And if there are two events at the same time, Hubby and I split up. (Thankfully we haven't had three events at the same time yet but I'm sure it's coming.) 

Last night, Girly had an away game but Hubby asked me to join him at a business dinner. Over the years he's been uber understanding of me not attending such dinners because the kids were little and needed me more. But that's changing (see the two previous blogs for details). 

So I decided last night to go to the dinner and prove to his business world that no, I am not Batman, he is in fact married and I do in fact exist. But to do so I missed Girly's game. 

Now, you might think this is no big deal, but to a woman like myself who prides herself on being Team Mom and lives to sit in a bleacher, it was killing me. 

I talked to Girly and Hubby who both reassured me that they didn't care either way. But I still had to choose. And I hated that feeling. I want to support my husband. I want to support my kids. 

But there's four of them and one of me. 

I chose the dinner and prayed about how much it hurt to have the band aid pulled off a bit once again. Life is changing. Girly can now drive herself home from a game. She doesn't need me as much as before. But I'm learning it's not all bad. 

Hubby and I had a fantastic time and the couple we had dinner with were delightful. We made new friends. Girly lost her game but texted me from the bus ride home saying she played hard and was proud of herself. It was all fine.

I will not be able to make it to every single thing and be there for everyone because there's four of them and one of me. I'm outnumbered. But I saw last night that it's okay. As much as they want me there or like having me there, they don't need me there. And my goal is to raise them to not need me. 

Now, if I could just train the dog to not need me...



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