The Almost Empty Nester: There Goes My Life

Friday, July 1, 2016

There Goes My Life

Ok. So. In my last post I said I wasn't crying very much.

Well I am now. I can't seem to stop. And at the most random, weird times. The grocery store, driving, picking up dry cleaning.

It's hitting me. Girl Child is leaving soon.

Like, living in a whole other state, two plane rides away, leaving.

We were hanging out in the backyard as a family the other night and listening to music. Kenny Chesney's song There Goes My Life came on and I sobbed like a baby. Sobbed. The boys looked at me like I'd lost it, my husband held me, and my daughter tried not to cry while all the while wondering, I'm sure, if she could leave for college without me having a nervous breakdown. (If you haven't heard the song before, listen to it. And try not to cry. I dare ya.)  

I've always tried to be intentional in my time with my kids. I never took for granted each moment. I really didn't. I soaked in every phase, stage, age, and event. But nothing, nothing could prepare me for this. I've taken care of, guided, hugged, cried with, laughed with and loved this child since the day she took her first breath. To not be able to do so every day? I can't wrap my head around it. I just can't. 

It's as if the band-aid is being pulled off slowly instead of in one, quick rip. And it hurts. A lot. 

I'm seeing that her going to college won't just change my relationship with her, but our family dynamic as well. She and Thing 1 and Thing 2 are very close. They will miss each other terribly. 

Change. So. Much. Change. I know our new normal will be great. Awesome, even. But for now, I'm embracing every second. Literally. Every giggle, tear, conversation, game night - everything. I don't want to miss a thing.

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