The Almost Empty Nester: Live In The Now

Friday, January 27, 2017

Live In The Now

I have a really hard time with now. I tend to think either about the future or the past, but struggle to embrace the present.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 just changed schools. They left the traditional school they've been in since pre-school to try an online charter school. It was not an easy decision to make by any means, and one that took months of research, prayer, talking, prayer, talking, and some more research.

Quite frankly, it almost ended me emotionally. I couldn't talk about it with anyone because of the sensitivity of the subject matter - it was a huge change and didn't want friends or family to hear it from anyone but us - so we were treading carefully. And for me, alone. Yes, The Hubby is awesome and listened to the countless hours of me rambling my mind mess, but we handle life very different because of our personalities and because, let's be honest, I'm female and he's male.

And let's just mention here that this was all happening during the months we were adjusting to The Girl Child going to college and our nest down a bird.

So, here we are. We've told who needs to know and as luck would have it, while everyone else has gone back to school, mine don't start until the 30th. The boys scored a six week holiday break.

For me, it's adjusting to another new normal. And I'll be honest, it's…weird. Not bad weird, just different. They're home all day  (which I love, truly) and I don't have a 25 minute one way drive to school anymore. (Thank you, Jesus!)

But it's change. And I believe I've said somewhere here before that I don't do well with change. It takes me time to acclimate. I find myself lately thinking about what was and what may be, but just get blocked at what is, and I simply have no clue why.

Because what is…is awesome.

I'm not a morning person. I never have been. So up at 6 a.m. to get kids to school was always a challenge. Now? I'm up at 7:30 or 8 and I have a full hour to sip my coffee, read my Bible, and get my day going. I don't have to stress about time to write before I have to rush off to pick them up from school in the afternoon. And since my kids are my favorite people ever, we have time to play. We went to an archery range the other day and shot arrows with Thing 1's bow.

It. Was. Awesome.

Yes. School will start for them next week. But it's all online and they do their work in their own time so we are planning golf and trap shooting and more archery. Thing 1 goes to CrossFit with me now. Thing 2 can mountain bike anytime of day, not just a quick ride before dark because he's not home from school until 4.

And yet, here I sit thinking about what was (their years in traditional school - what I know) and what may be (how I'll handle life when they leave the nest.)

I want so much to be better at right now.  The boys and I love the movie Wayne's World. And I can hear Wayne in my head saying "Live in the now!" Ha! Love it. If only it were that simple. Or easy.

Maybe it is. I do tend to overthink things. (Anyone who knows me well, please keep comments to yourself.)

So each morning, as I sip my coffee and read and journal, I'll remind myself that what was was good, but not always great, that what may be is in God's hands and not for me to worry about, and what is is pretty cool and I'm done missing it. I'm ready to soak it in. It's time to live in the now. 

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